nuts and bolts from the edge

Now is the time for another random doings post. Take it or leave it. Or add to it for that matter.

1. Last night a show on the animals of Madagascar was on PBS. As I was reading one of my little books at the time (holy crap, can watching PBS while reading get any nerdier) I was only able to catch snippets of the narrator and the animals. I looked up just as Lemurs entered the stage, fastidiously patrolling their territory. Oh No! There were outsiders about! The two groups of Lemurs then did their little intimidation, "best get the hell out of my territory" shuffle. All I could think of when I saw this was West Side Story, because there was a lot of bouncing and prancing.... "When you're a jet, you're a jet all the way/ From your first cigarette to your last dyin' day."

2. Any trip to the store is infinitely more entertaining after 10:00pm:
  • you almost jump up and down when you spy some newfangled Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Cones.... that's right, people, CONES! Cherry Garcia in drumstick form. Fantastic.
  • you put said Ben & Jerry's cone back because you realize all you really want is chocolate milk.... mmmm, real chocolate milk out of a glass quart bottle... also excellent in coffee as it's made with whole milk.
  • you gauge your mood over the next week by the variety of coffee you decide to buy
  • The check-out guy enters your items, totals them, and hands over the little debit keypad all to the beat of the hippy music in the store.
  • The check-out guy confirms that context is the best determinant of the acceptability of public sweatpants wearing.
3. The easiest way to avoid eating cloves in a soup is to count them as they go in, then count them as you take them out. This process is made trickier by the variety of soup. And should you bite into some clove, I'm sorry, there's nothing you can do. Just move on. I speak from experience.


kungfuramone said...

When you're dead, your teachings will be compiled into a four-volume set called The Wit and Wisdom of E, and intellectual historians will read it closely and write monographs about it.

Matto said...

It sounds like you've made the same mistake I've made several times in the past weeks, going to the grocery store while hungry or with a craving. I now have the most entertaining things in my pantry because everything sounds good on an empty stomach.