Issue with Security People #29483-9f

Oh, the pant-twisters of the world. Grab the belt and twist from left to right and right to left. Show what little authority you have with all yer pant-twisin' might. And when you're done pant-twisting, climb on to your Segway (don't forget the bike helmet!!) and start to make your rounds. Say witty things once up on the Segway like, "safe for another day." Cut off phone conversations with a stern and abrupt, "This conversation is over." Then say it again because the person on the other end of the line can't see your free hand move automatically down to your belt in the now unconscious act of pant-twisting. Next, close the cell phone with huffy authority and look for sympathy from the person who must subject themselves as well to the ridiculous notion that you have any actual authority.

Yes, the security people were in high alert mode when I tried to get back into the building yesterday. Pant-twisting and escorts. I obviously bring danger with me where ever I go.


boxfactoryboy said...

Oh Grasshopper, I see you have fallen prey to "the man" in the blue security guard suit....Relax, he was just trying to do his job. You have to understand at what he is being paid he has to find a way to show his authority to justify doing his job. Be the 'bigger woman' here and accept his authority. Someone is paying him to do that job. Not to act like a power hungry 'I got you kind of guy', but someone to keep the riff raff out. At least I hope that is what happened and you did not run afoul of the Eugene police! Breath deep and be greatful it is not you on that Segway.

Rachel said...

i think my favorite segway moment was when I saw a tour group in Hungary - all of them tooling around on segways. the best was the middle aged dad. :)