So, last night, despite migraine number 6 in the last 10 days (yes, I had another one yesterday that continues this morning) I went to meet my friends at a bar for a beer and a game of pool. I mean really, what are you supposed to do? At this point I'm just living with them. No other choice this past week and a half. Anyway, this excursion quickly devolved into an older-man/bar-fly-hit-on-the-girls kind of evening. Like stink on shit they came. And yes, I don't care what I just said about myself. Some conversational snippets (Act Two is really the best):

Act One: Imagine a guy marking his territory, not a stretch to say he was pissing around the pool table and my friend....
Dude #1 to Dude #2: You're in my space. This is my space. You need to go find some neutral space.

Act Two: After Dude #1 messed with Dude #3's quarters and next spot on the table, I split the difference and played a game of 8 ball against Dude #3 while Dude #1 played a game with my friend. We didn't need a repeat of the Silverback chest pounding that was the Neutral Space conversation
Dude #3: I used to play pool with my right hand. After I got out of the Service I started playing with my left hand.
Me: So you're ambidextrous.
Dude #3: Yeah, and I can paint with my left hand, too.

Act Three: More conversation from the never-ending pool game with Dude #3.
Dude #3: I used to play a lot of pool. I was on a team. I did a lot of cocaine.
Me: So you must have been a fast player.

Oh yeah. This place was a real collection of winners. If anyone is in need of some ego-boosting (that is, if your ego is actually boosted by this type of individual) contact me and I'll give ya a heads-up.


Rachel said...

"I was on a team. I did a lot of cocaine." Sounds like a winner! Exactly what I would say would be fantastic to deal with during a migraine attack... :-/

kungfuramone said...

See, I like stories like that, because it makes me feel like I totally did have game back in the day! The bar is obviously set pretty low.

boxfactoryboy said...

It would seem a change of neighborhood would be in order. Definetly not Nerd territory.