8.12.2007

From the Archives: Police Blotter

Cleaning out the guest room in preparation for our very own Hebrew National consuming, history studying, endlessly analyzing fly-by-night camper Smurf This, I found another example of the wonders of Ellensburg's police blotter. This one is about 5 years old:
  • Patio furniture was taken from a 14th Avenue location.
  • A car was reported stolen from a Cle Elum car lot.
  • A Nelson Siding Road woman reported that she need two deputies because she believed her husband has been trying to kill her over the past 14 years with lasers he had installed in the walls of the residence.
  • A vehicle versus bicycle accident was reported on Third Avenue.
  • A Reecer Creek Road resident reported hearing sirens, then saw what look like a ball of fire fall from an airplane.
  • A motorcycle versus tree accident was reported on Bullfrog Road.
  • A man was laying face down in the center of Berry Road.
The choice of favorite is a difficult one. Lasers, balls of fire, trees getting into accidents.... Madness!

7 comments:

Rachel said...

Henri said that if he'd been trying for 14 years and hadn't succeeded, he must not be very good at trying to kill his wife.

kungfuramone said...

Motorcycle "versus" tree, huh? That particular battle is loaded in favor of the tree.

Cabiria said...

I think it's clear that no one in Ellensburg has ever done meth. Or any drug. Of any kind.

The Bandit said...

I might want to think twice about getting a cabin in the Nelson Siding area like I was planning....

boxfactoryboy said...

It' just comforting to know there are some constants in this world. I bet you could put that column up against any one today and they would be pretty much the same. I don't think they need much more Meth there, though lord knows enough gets consumed. It would appear there is some kind of strange vortex at that geographic location. You know, like that place in Oregon where up looks like down??! Sometimes life is strange and occasionally wonderful, if we are lucky.

Rachel said...

the basic constant of living in Ellensburg is boredom. Hence drug-induced visions of fireballs. I was told by a prof that it was a fantastic job because it was a small town, good town in which to raise a family. I suppose it's better than the 'burbs... but not by much.

Sarah said...

yo! Nerd! I'm back in action...hopefully this time I won't dissapoint...it's good to see that you're still taking note of published nonsense. Where's Ellensburg? Maybe I'll move there next...