Fuckin' Bingo!

Deedelee Deedelee Deedelee Deee! In case you didn't catch it, that was a rockin' air guitar solo. Word. Last night we went out to play bingo whilst celebrating a birthday. I've always been a fan of bingo. I don't know if its the little blue hairs, the big stampers, or the charismatic callers (you have to be charismatic to even try out....). This place last night had none of those things. But it did have Cussing Bingo in which everyone had the green light to voice their displeasure with the calls ("God damn O 68 Fuckin' sucks!") or yell bingo with extra flair ("Fuckin' BINGO!!!!!!"). Either way it was entertaining. Their prizes were also very entertaining: t-shirt, many $3.50 gift certificates, waffle maker, circa 1972 Dr. Scholls Foot Massager, an old George Foreman grill, and even a lava lamp. Ah, how could I forget... One game was also called "What's in the nut?". During this particular game you could win through the normal coarse or Bingo or guess what was literally in a large nut up on the table. Just in case you were wondering, a loaded pair of dice were in the nut and somebody did guess it.

editors note: this post brought to you without the aid of coffee, the utter horror.