thoughts on shopping

I'm not one to go shopping just for the fun of it. All that browsing and slow-walking and salesperson avoiding just isn't my idea of a fun time. With that, I offer up some decrees to make the shopping experience a better one:

• all Tommy Bahama gear shall be banished
  
• something akin to a smoke eater shall be installed above all perfume and cologne stations
• women's sizing shall be adjusted to match men's sizing as men's sizing is fantastically practical**
• refreshment stations shall be placed as strategic positions through malls and stores and will include, but not be limited to: wine, beer, lemonade, tea, still and sparkling water
• the transition between the teen area and the stuffy-old-woman area shall be rationalized: I want options, people!

**as a side, I read this article the other day about how more online store fronts were targeting male shoppers as they purchased about the same as women on-line, but did so in a much more "efficient" manner and with less returns. Nary a word was said on the difference in sizing! It's EASY for men to shop on-line and not return anything BECAUSE of the uniform sizing. Hello Oxford shirts! Hello waistband and inseam! The stupid marketing group that crunched all their little numbers completely missed this critical point because they were soooo wrapped up in the idea of women as incessant shoppers that flit about stores while thinking up new casserole dishes. Phew. Rant over for the moment.